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Monthly Archives: January 2010

Glenn Beck is my personal hero. I want that to be understood. Glenn Beck is the kind of courageous, ingenious, moral, hard working, beautiful, understanding, intelligent and kind person we should all strive to be. His show on Fox News should be shown on every channel on all televisions all over the world, all day long. I just can’t get enough of this guy. By now, I’m sure you’ve realized I’m speaking ironically and have only bad things to say about GB. For those of you who enjoy a good roast, read on!

Simply put: Glenn Beck puts on the best show on television. Not because it’s a valid news show that expresses the rational interests and concerns of conservatives. It’s not the best show because Glenn Beck is a reasonable man. It’s because Glenn Beck is one of the finest liars I have ever seen. This is a man who manipulates and lies better than most people tell the truth.

It may be the permanent ‘I just cut a fart and am not going to tell anyone’ look on his face, it may be the crocodile tears he manages to squeeze out anytime he gets near an American flag, but I can’t help but feel he is full of shit. Whether it’s righteous anger, or somber concern for our nations future, Glenn Beck will show you ANY emotion for the right price.

"Silent but deadly...."

Mr. Beck does not like President Obama. Fortunately, the law does not require that Glenn Beck support our President, and even more fortunately, the law does not require Beck to say anything true.

That’s not to say Beck is biased. After all, he and the entire Fox News team are asking the tough questions–‘President Obama, bad President, or WORST PRESIDENT EVER?’

Maybe it’s the insult of my intelligence that most makes me despise this man. Beck treats his audience like children, using charts, graphs, photos and diagrams to display just how very bla—communist Obama has become. How on Earth did we ever function before? How is it that I ever understood the complexities of public policy before Glenn Beck managed to incorrectly scrawl ‘Oligarchy’ on a chalk board?

Furthermore, who told Glenn Beck what ‘oligarchy’ meant?

It always goes the same. Beck goes on about some new and horrific injustice of the Obama administration. His excitement peaks as he rants and raves, foaming at the mouth as he touts his own patriotism, his own deep love for our country.

Then the waterworks. The tears come streaming down his face, and we are all reminded that there is nothing more pathetic than watching a grown man cry on television.

Not pictured: Glenn Beck's dignity.

Personally, I hope he stays on the air for 10 more years. It’s the Beck’s of the world that work to discredit their own party, without even realizing. It’s the hard-line, hard left or right leaning activists that manage to discredit so completely the moderate.

Thank you Mr. Beck, for your show, for your tears, and for robbing Fox News of any lingering shred of credibility.

The left thanks you.